i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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