Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Nobody cheats on THIS.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
