I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
