don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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