proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
