It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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