He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
