i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
