and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
