Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
