I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
