I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
