TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
it's like iHOP with fire
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
