Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
