If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
