Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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