Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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