No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
