On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
