oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
