I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
