It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
