i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
