I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
he fucked my hip out of place.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
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We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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