i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
