What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
