STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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