can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize