you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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