wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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