now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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