real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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