I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
