census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize