Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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