Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
