nut hugger
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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