So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
