I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
