we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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