My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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