it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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