he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
