I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Randomize
