It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
