these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
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you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
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You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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