It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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