'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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