well most of my day revolves around power hour
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
