Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
