I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
