do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
