We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize