I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
