We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
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Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
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Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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