I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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