Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
