i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
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I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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