I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
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just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
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So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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