I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
