Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
