yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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