i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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