I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
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The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
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Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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