I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.