The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
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she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
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I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.