His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
