Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out